Remain Relevant in Changing Times

Going in the hospital? Better learn the language

A kind nurse rolled me out of the hospital yesterday, eternally grateful to be headed home after several days of tests and treatments. I'm on the mend again, feeling much better and smarter all at the same time. I went in speaking only English. I came out bi-lingual, fully understanding medi-speak. I hope you don't have to use this, but just in case, I want to share with you the most relevant language being used in a modern hospital.

Hat: you'll never want to wear one of these one your head. It's what they call  the little plastic  bowls they put in the toilet before asking you to  "collect" your own  "elimination."

Temporary discomfort: if told you "might experience a little temporary discomfort" you're in trouble. It really means, "This is going to hurt like hell but you'll get over it in a few days."

Hot stick: you don't want one of these. It means a "special IV technician" is about to take a harmless looking needle with wings and stick it way deep into a vein, thrusting it in an out while your entire body burns. Just before you pass out, the technician will cheerily announce, "OK, I think I've found one that works!" Resist the urge to respond, "Are you sure? I once went on an archeological dig that wasn't this comprehensive or time consuming."

We're trying to isolate the problem: this is what doctors say when they don't agree with one another on your diagnosis. One of mine thought I had Crohn's Disease. Another was sure my problem was e.coli. After a rousing game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" they concluded they were both right.

Nutrition: this used to be called "food service." In recognition of the fact that few people would call it food, lawyers are now requiring hospitals to stick with the simplest, most objective term. After all, everything on the tray does, in fact, have some kind of nutrition in it. (Except for the shredded iceberg lettuce with low fat dressing.)

Blood products: Adding the word "products" is apparently supposed to give blood transfusions more of a consumer feel, almost like you're getting something you've shopped for. When these products are delivered right to your bedside, they also come with multiple nurses, who check one another's  ability to match the names and numbers on your arm band with what is printed on the bad of blood (which, btw, isn't red so much as it's maroon). When you see the intensity on their faces while they read, it makes you very nervous and grateful all at the same time.

Vital signs: these are things that must be checked every 12 minutes, day and night, especially when you're sleeping. For some reason, vital signs cannot be checked at the same time you're being given medicine or food. It's a whole separate procedure that also can be done only with all the lights on.

My favorite word is discharge because it means you're headed home. At this point, you receive all kinds of paper work that essentially says "here's how you take care of yourself." They slip in several paragraphs that note that if your insurance company doesn't pay the bill, you have to give the blood back or they'll come to your house and do an instant "walletectomy."

I'm certain this language will keep evolving, so I encourage you to share what you have learned from your own personal experience.  We have to do our parts to remain relevant as patients because, believe me, you don't want to be an irrelevant patient!

Viewing relevance from a hospital bed

Relevance, I've learned, looks pretty different from a hospital bed. I'm lying in one now in room 619 at Kennestone Hospital in Marietta, GA, where I've spent the past four days being tested up the wazoo. I came in through the emergency room on Sunday, which is my preferred method (you get serviced faster that way and who doesn't like a little drama?).

A number of issues had me here, the most serious being the rapid increase of my creatine, which measures kidney function. My transplanted kidney was starting to poop out on me.

I certainly couldn't afford a lose a second transplant. I've run out of sisters. Lucky for me, Dr. Robert Jansen from Georgia Kidney Associates, has been on the case. First the good news... I'll be fine.

Meanwhile, I've noticed some interesting changes since my last extended visit here five years ago. The lovely hospital gown I was offered first thing wasn't the solid institutional blue of years past. Instead, it has "Hospital Property" stamped all over it. Is this to ensure I don't get it confused with my personal identical gown brought from home? Or is it a reminder of who's really the boss here? For the record, I never thought it was me. I've always assumed it was the insurance company.

For instance, yesterday I was taken to a mysterious cavernous part of the building for a colonoscopy and endoscopy (and from the way I felt later, apparently another oscopy they failed to mention). The doctor asked me if I wanted to be put to sleep for the procedure. I told him anyone who was getting ready to put a tube up my butt better have drugs or some very strong chardonnay. Then I probed (before he did), "Why would you ask?" He said, "Because it will cost your insurance company more if I do it that way. Some people prefer to just put up with the temporary discomfort."

Not this somebody. I didn't care what the insurance company thought about any of this. But it was a real "ah ha" moment for me. Insurance companies, for better or worse, are becoming more and more relevant to our everyday lives, requiring decisions that previously didn't even merit consideration.

Another thing that has struck me is how technology drives so much of the healthcare system now. Everything here beeps, rings or hums. Every person, from the surgeons to the cleaning crew, have cell phones attached as closely as vital organs and they ring constantly (the phones, not the organs). Information flies around wirelessly and yet, as far as I can tell, most of these systems don't talk to one another very well. I still had to answer the same questions 10 times. Maybe they're really just trying to determine my memory skills.

There are several channels on the internal TV system showing educational shows about various medical procedures. That's fine, but what would be even better - and more relevant - would be if I could go to the web site and just download these episodes into my iPod.  Few things are more comforting than having an articulate doctor right there in the palm of your hand gently explain something (on demand, no less).

And while they're at it, a few links to blogs and web sites about specific procedures would be good too. Right now, WellStar (Kennestone's parent) has some great information on its web site that's strictly text based, but they need to take things up a notch.

Hey, we impatient patients are sitting here with laptops picking up the wifi connection. Why not send us to pre-selected links? It might keep us busy enough to lay off the "call nurse" button for a while.

Girl Scouts go digital: Computer cookies get a whole new meaning

One of the great ironies of my life is that I got fat eating Thin Mints. I cannot resist them. I've been known to drive all over Cobb County, GA in March searching for uniformed Girl Scouts standing behind folding card tables hawking the most wicked of all treats.

But that is so last year. Now the Girl Scouts have gone digital. That's right - they're promoting their annual fundraising cookies in all the places we visit every day: YouTube, Grouper, Friendster, MySpace and more. No more driving around looking for cookies. Look for them in blogs (like this one!) and heaven only knows where else. There will be no escaping the Girl Scouts now. If you have a zip code, they can tell you the closest place to buy their cookies.

Well, let me say, "Thanks a lot, girls." I have always justified buying cookies my hips didn't need because I have a hard and fast policy to always purchase anything a child is selling for a good cause. When I started at Edelman, I even considered it an employee benefit that I could order cookies right here at the office, thanks to one little Allie Tucker, a beautiful child with the darkest, brownest, most soulful eyes I've ever seen. Although she's a talented little sales leader, the truth is all she has to do is look at me and I'll hand over a blank check.

She reminded me this year that I could order several boxes of cookies and freeze the ones I don't eat right away. I'm not sure what planet Allie is from, but in my world there's no such thing as leftover Girl Scout cookies.... or extra boxes. I ordered more than usual this year so I could participate in an Edelman plan to send some to the troops in Iraq. In case I lose that altruistic feeling when those beautiful Thin Mints, Samoas and TagAlongs arrive, I've bookmarked my favorite places where I can send others a link where they can begin their own lifelong habit that's as powerful as any drug being peddled on the street. Somehow, it feels almost dirty, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

The Girl Scouts are celebrating their 90th year of sales in 2007. More than just a fundraiser, this annual rite aims to teach girls the ins and outs of being an entrepreneur. I can't think of a better lesson they could learn than the importance of how to remain relevant in changing times. 

I congratulate them - and their partner, Ripple Effects, for this brilliant strategy. With the money I'll save in gas, I can buy more boxes of Thin Mints!

Super Bowl commericals reflect mood of the country

It's the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl as I'm writing this and I feel like I've seen enough commercials to detect a distinct pattern. It's not pretty. Seems to me the commercials have been more violent than in the past, including the cartoonish ones. What's up with that? I can only assume those producing the commercials decided to take their frustrations about the war out in supposedly more subtle ways.

Two guys who apparently love Snickers bars ripped off their chest hair. In a FedEx commercial, a poor fellow was creamed by a meteor. Bud Light showed a hitchhiker toting an ax and looking like a mass murderer, which, frankly, wasn't as scary as ETrade's depiction of a bank where the employees rip off customers and make them feel like they're in the middle of a violent bank robbery. At first I thought I was watching CSI.

I confess it struck me as a tad funny that Prudential's commercial "Like a rock" theme made me think for a nanosecond they said "Iraq."

I wasn't sure what to expect when I heard that Coca-Cola would make a comeback this year at the Super Bowl after an absence of several years, but I was delighted and pleased to see they went for the tender, sweet touch, harkening back to the days when they did the famous "Hilltop" commercial in which they offered to teach the world to sing.

Over all, I can't say I've been terribly impressed with the commercials this year. (The half-time show, however, was one of the best yet, IMHO).

Of course, not every company can afford the $2.6 million it takes to advertise for 30 seconds at the Super Bowl, which is why we have seen such a rise in companies turning to YouTube to grab viewers. A quick check of "2007 Super Bowl Commercials" on the YouTube search engine brought up several and the viewership on some is already pretty high. On the downside, a lot of the comments about the commercials are pretty snarky. At least during the big game, you only see/hear what others in your living room have to say.

This Super Bowl has been unusual in many ways, from the history-making first play (92 yard return for a touchdown) to consumer-generated commercials, to instant postings of commercials on YouTube.

There are now 6 minutes left in the game and it appears the Colts will win (YAY!). But the real winner, in my view, are the companies that got to try something new this year, whether or not it appeals to me personally. I'm eager to see how this shift from high-dollar, over-produced commercials to something more relevant to today's multitasking viewers turns out. What do you think?

How American Idol remains relevant

One thing Americans seem to do exceptionally well is watch TV... especially when it comes to American Idol. We can't get enough of it. The show has never been more popular than it is in its sixth season. Interestingly, when I talk to people about American Idol, it never ceases to amaze me how they go about selecting their choice for a winner.

Often, people tell me they like a particular participant because the person's backstory is so interesting. Maybe the singer had a tough childhood, or "really seems to want it." One friend told me he liked a particular girl singer because she "had the look." So what? To me, none of that seems relevant to what the contest is really about - finding a phenomenal  voice talent. But, hey, relevance is in the eye of the viewer, isn't it?

Producers have the formidable task of keeping the show relevant year after year while honoring their original purpose of discovering great singers. This season they promise a mid-season "surprise." Already, they've gone to unexpected cities, like Seattle and Minneapolis, looking for talent (and largely failed, based on what we've seen so far). They seem to be focusing even more (at least initially) on the remarkably bad candidates. Nothing makes viewers feel more superior than watching some really weird people sing very badly. Now, THAT's entertainment!

So, for better or worse, highlighting the most bizarre singers is one way to keep the show relevant to voyeurs (oops, I mean viewers). By the way, I confess I fall solidly into this category. I think Simon is especially entertaining and I usually agree with his assessment. I have no sympathy for the singers who get ridiculed. It's not like they didn't know what they were risking when they signed up.

Another way American Idol producers are making the show more relevant is finding new ways to involve the viewers. Now, for instance, you can go onto the AI web site and  vote on which singer made the biggest impression (usually a negative one),and who made the most interesting fashion statement. There are multiple ways to get involved in the show and get friends in on the action as well. Find out what's happening with past AI candidates. Go behind the scenes to see what it's like to get on the show. Even the ubiquitous Coke cup that we always see in front of the judges is up for redesign by the viewers. What a great way to get people to pay attention to every little detail and stay tuned to see if their design makes the final cut!

And let's not forget the mobile component. Not only can fans vote for their favorite singer, they can download AI ringtones.

What started as an entertaining TV show has, in fact, become a cult of sorts. The show  attracts kids and older adults alike and when it gets into the final stages, it becomes the focus of viewing parties, much like the Super Bowl.

Frankly, I believe the biggest challenge now will be to resist extending the brand so much that it becomes overexposed, people OD on it and decide to tune out. This season will be a pivotal one. It's the show to watch, not just because of the water cooler talk it generates, but because of the lessons we can learn as it embraces new ways to remain relevant.

Lessons learned from prom dress shopping

I spent a good part of my weekend prom dress shopping with my youngest daughter, Sydney. Although her senior prom isn't until March 24, she decided she had better get started, since it's much harder to find a dress than it is a date (at least if you're a beautiful, popular girl).

After going to the four stores where we have bought previous formal dresses and feeling more like an intruder than a customer, Syd and I gave up and came home to turn to the Internet for help. That's how we found A Formal Affair in Roswell, GA, which turned out to be a new store in a strip shopping mall on Holcomb Bridge Road. We were blown away from the moment we walked in the door. Sydney said it best: "Don't you love to go into a place to looks expensive only to find out it doesn't cost more than those crowded stores we went to?"

(Relevance lesson number 1: customers like to feel special from the first moment of contact. Even teenagers like to feel important... they notice things like how spacious a store is.)

Vanessa, a beautiful young African-American woman, greeted us warmly, told us the store was family owned and immediately started asking how she could help. She explained that the dresses were arranged by color, then size. She asked which prom Sydney would be attending and what kind of dresses she liked. Her questions weren't gratuitous. She seemed to actually be interested in Sydney's answers. Within minutes, Sydney had selected six dresses to try on. (She hadn't found six in the four previous stores combined, primarily because she tends to be modest and didn't really care for the most common style - plunging necklines and a back that started just above the crack her her butt. My God, some of these dresses could have their own reality show!)

(Relevance lesson number 2: understand that the decision maker isn't necessarily the person who swipes the debit card. In this case, focusing on Sydney's likes and dislikes while looking at me "offline" for an approving glance, ensured neither of us felt alienated.)

Rather than hang the dresses in a room and yell, "Call if you need anything," which is how other shops treated us, Vanessa instead stood by the dressing room and offered to help her try each dress on, showing her how it could be altered if she didn't feel it fit just right. She also pointed out the advantages and disadvantages of each dress. For instance, dresses with trains make lovely photos but can be cumbersome on the dance floor. Beautiful  Southern Belle hoop dresses can be difficult to sit down in. I've still no idea which dress Vanessa liked best. She seemed perfectly objective about them all.

Each time Sydney emerged from the dressing room, Vanessa helped her onto a riser stage that had three-way mirrors and encouraged her to take her time, try to dance, sit down, bend over, all the things a girl in a prom dress would probably do on prom night.

(Relevance lesson number 3: customers will listen to someone who seems to genuinely want to help them by thinking through with them how the product will really be used, not just how cool or beautiful it is.)

By the way, while all this trying of dresses was going on, I was comfortably seated in a big, beautiful, soft chair facing the stage. I could have sat there for hours. Why haven't more retail stores figured out that Moms don't want to stand for a long time holding two purses while trying to be patient and enthusiastic?

(Relevance lesson number 4: consider ALL your customers and do the little things it takes to make them feel they matter.)

After watching Sydney try on several gowns and getting an idea for what really appealed to her, Vanessa then brought a couple of gowns to Sydney that she had not selected for herself. Wouldn't you know the one we bought was one Vanessa selected? And not once did she say, "This looks better on." (That reminds me of my favorite Rita Rudner joke. She said she was looking at an ugly dress in a store when the clerk said, "That looks much better on." Rita replied, "On what? Fire?")

(Relevance lesson number 5: you have to earn trust and respect before you can offer an opinion and be listened to. Vanessa didn't begin her interaction with us by making suggestions. She waited until the right time.)

In the end, we bought the "perfect" dress (pink, in case you're wondering). Vanessa then recorded Sydney's contact information and prom details and guaranteed her she would not sell that same dress to another girl attending Sydney's prom. Moreover, she showed her a couple of tuxedos that would beautifully complement the dress (including a pink vest that matched Sydney's dress perfectly). She told her she could send her date there to rent his tux and he would get a 25 percent discount by mentioning Sydney's name. She asked Sydney to please tell her friends about the store and let them know that they would be open seven days a week through prom season.

(Relevance lesson number 5: treat your customers well and ask them to help you spread the word. They'll gladly do so. Sydney must have "texted" a half dozen friends about A Formal Affair before we got home!)

Finally - the most important lesson of all: it doesn't matter what business you're in or whether your customers are high school seniors or senior citizens: 1) treat them like they matter; 2) earn their trust and respect; and 3) ask them to help you tell your story.

The Painted Veil targets TV viewers with relevant information

I absolutely love to go to the movies. I've been known to see a dozen in a week. Recently, during the week between Christmas and New Years, I managed to see only six, but what can I say? I had other things on my plate to do too.

One of the best movies I saw was The Painted Veil, an independent film staring Naomi Watts and Edward Norton. Shot in China, it is the most beautiful cinematography I've seen in ages. The story is captivating and the casting spot on.

But what intrigues me even more about this great movie is the way it was promoted. Warner Independent Pictures initally boughtTV commercial spots in 18 markets (on cable). Rather than ending each with the typical, "Now playing at a theater near you" or "Now playing at selected theaters," the spots told viewers exactly which theater to go to in their city. In Atlanta, for instance, viewers are told to go to the Landmark's Midtown Art Cinema.

What a great concept: tell consumers what they need to know without making them work for it! It also helped to create a sense of urgency to see the film. Seeing that the movie was playing in only one theater - one known for indies - made me want to rush out to see it before it disappeared. I didn't know if if would ever make the screens in the suburbs.

As it turns out, The Painted Veil will roll out to another 73 markets next week and at that time Warner will run broader national TV campaigns. But this initial targeted campaign was a stroke of genius that speaks once again to how consumers want information that is relevant to them.

By the way, kudos to SpotRunner, an LA-based ad ageny that created the specific tags and handled the execution in each market. Don't be surprised if you see more movies go down this path.

Now if only someone can figure out how to get rid of those annoying commercials that play in front of the movie trailers that play in front of the actual movie you're there to see...

Wall Street Journal Proves Its Relevance With New Look, Format

Most of us probably started 2007 with the goal of being skinnier at the end of the year. Not the Wall Street Journal. It is starting the year in a trimmed down state. It has shed the fat, built up its news analysis muscle and will probably gain nothing but a more loyal readership as a result.

Starting with today's issue, the WSJ showcases a new design that makes the paper much narrower and deeper than it has ever been. I loved it the moment I released it from its pink wrapper on my driveway this morning. I was immediately struck by how much easier it is to read now, solely because of the change in navigation. Summary boxes, increased use of color, photos and a generally less cluttered look wowed me.

Best of all, the new design integrates beautifully with the WSJ's web site. Let's face it: the Internet and broadcast news outlets keep us up to date on the news. People read the WSJ not to learn what's happening, but why and how. The print edition can now do what it does best - offer analysis and deep background - while the web site takes on the task of keeping readers informed on corporate news. What's more, readers who really want to get under the covers of a story can go to the web site for online interviews via podcasts and sidebars that didn't make the print edition.

Page G8's top headline screams, "The Relevance of Good Design" and the accompanying story lists the eight principles that served as the guide for the paper's new look. Here's the top line. They are:

1. Make it easier for readers to navigate the Journal

2. Create a hierarchy of stories, so readers know the relevance of important news

3. Maintain the best visual traditions of the Journal.

4. Remember that Journal readers come to read, not to look.

5. Innovate graphically where improvements can be made.

6. Don't skimp on good journalism.

7. Balance long-form stories with secondary readings and quick story summaries.

8. Guide readers to the Online Journal - but don't overdo it.

Based on the inaugural issue of this new design, I have to say the WSJ absolutely nailed it. You can do that when you spend two years researching what readers really want and how people truly interact with the media.

The lesson for the rest of us is that no matter how relevant we are today, we can't remain relevant without making some changes along the way. But those changes have to be customer-driven. It doesn't matter if we think customers should consume our product a certain way if they prefer a different method. Perhaps nowhere else is this more evident than in the way we consume the news.

Congratulations, WSJ! I hope more papers will follow your lead.

Should Michael Richards be forgiven?

Several people have asked me if I planned to write about the Michael Richards debacle, so here goes. My take, in a nutshell is this: he did a really stupid thing and has (and will continue to) suffer the consequences. But, people, let's move on already. He's a minor celebrity whose ignorance and lack of stand up savvy collided like a freight train. Now everyone wants to survey the wreckage and pontificate on whether this train can ever get back on track. Maybe it's time we get in our cars and go home.

He said he's sorry. He hired a publicist. He's seeking psychiatric treatment. He went on Letterman. He has repeatedly offered apologies to the people who provoked him. What more do we expect?

We have ways of "punishing" him, so if you feel you must, then don't see his shows (if get gets any more). Don't buy the Sienfeld DVD box set that, unfortunately, hit the shelves just as this was going down. Don't watch anything Richards appears in. In other words, vote with your wallet and you'll be amazed at how quickly the psyciatric treatment works. Problem is, when you see him arm in arm with Jesse and Al, you'll never know whether he has really changed his ways or is just having a successful PR campaign. It's all about what you CHOOSE to believe.

I think it's far more interesting to consider HOW this all happened. Remember that the video we've seen on the Internet and on national television was generated using a cell phone. Bloggers were among the first to go after Richards and before we knew it, the story grew longer legs than a supermodel. Wow. That's pretty powerful, huh? Talk about consumer-generated media!

Well, guess what? None of us is immune from having our own faces or companies splashed across the news based on a single moment in time captured by someone in close proximity using equipment that costs maybe a couple hundred bucks. There are potentially millions of Michael Moores in the world, some lucky and others just savvy enough to capture an intriguing event and market the hell out of it. Provocation doesn't even matter.

What does this mean for us? There's no such thing as "it's just this small, private group so I can be more me." Gone are the days when speaking off the cuff was largely harmless. Smart people don't take chances. They think about what they want to say, figure out how to say it (often with the help of PR experts, no doubt) then they just shut up when it's time to do so.

Michael Richards didn't have enough sense to just shut up. And believe me, it'll cost him plenty. Will he ever be forgiven? Sure, by some at least. But for better or worse, he'll never be the same.

Your outrage is really working!

Just moments ago, CNN announced that the interview between Judith Regan and O.J. Simpson has been canceled. Moreoever, O.J.'s book won't be published either.

"I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project," said Rupert Murdoch, News Corp. chairman. "We are sorry for any pain that his has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson."

I can't tell you how delighted I am to hear that this show and book won't see the light of day. It tells us that we consumers have power. Outrage still works. We all need to keep that in mind. One of the great things about viral campaigns and blogs is that those of us who don't have bully pulpits in the traditional sense still get to affect change by giving voice to our convictions and opinions in a forum that doesn't rely on editors and producers to determine what makes the cut. I want to encourage you to turn to the blogosphere, e-mail and other online tools to garner support for what you believe in.

Thanks for all your notes of encouragement and your willingness to join me in my personal protest. We matter. And hopefully Fox won't forget that (at least until next November sweeps time)!