Remain Relevant in Changing Times

Viewing relevance from a hospital bed

Relevance, I've learned, looks pretty different from a hospital bed. I'm lying in one now in room 619 at Kennestone Hospital in Marietta, GA, where I've spent the past four days being tested up the wazoo. I came in through the emergency room on Sunday, which is my preferred method (you get serviced faster that way and who doesn't like a little drama?).

A number of issues had me here, the most serious being the rapid increase of my creatine, which measures kidney function. My transplanted kidney was starting to poop out on me.

I certainly couldn't afford a lose a second transplant. I've run out of sisters. Lucky for me, Dr. Robert Jansen from Georgia Kidney Associates, has been on the case. First the good news... I'll be fine.

Meanwhile, I've noticed some interesting changes since my last extended visit here five years ago. The lovely hospital gown I was offered first thing wasn't the solid institutional blue of years past. Instead, it has "Hospital Property" stamped all over it. Is this to ensure I don't get it confused with my personal identical gown brought from home? Or is it a reminder of who's really the boss here? For the record, I never thought it was me. I've always assumed it was the insurance company.

For instance, yesterday I was taken to a mysterious cavernous part of the building for a colonoscopy and endoscopy (and from the way I felt later, apparently another oscopy they failed to mention). The doctor asked me if I wanted to be put to sleep for the procedure. I told him anyone who was getting ready to put a tube up my butt better have drugs or some very strong chardonnay. Then I probed (before he did), "Why would you ask?" He said, "Because it will cost your insurance company more if I do it that way. Some people prefer to just put up with the temporary discomfort."

Not this somebody. I didn't care what the insurance company thought about any of this. But it was a real "ah ha" moment for me. Insurance companies, for better or worse, are becoming more and more relevant to our everyday lives, requiring decisions that previously didn't even merit consideration.

Another thing that has struck me is how technology drives so much of the healthcare system now. Everything here beeps, rings or hums. Every person, from the surgeons to the cleaning crew, have cell phones attached as closely as vital organs and they ring constantly (the phones, not the organs). Information flies around wirelessly and yet, as far as I can tell, most of these systems don't talk to one another very well. I still had to answer the same questions 10 times. Maybe they're really just trying to determine my memory skills.

There are several channels on the internal TV system showing educational shows about various medical procedures. That's fine, but what would be even better - and more relevant - would be if I could go to the web site and just download these episodes into my iPod.  Few things are more comforting than having an articulate doctor right there in the palm of your hand gently explain something (on demand, no less).

And while they're at it, a few links to blogs and web sites about specific procedures would be good too. Right now, WellStar (Kennestone's parent) has some great information on its web site that's strictly text based, but they need to take things up a notch.

Hey, we impatient patients are sitting here with laptops picking up the wifi connection. Why not send us to pre-selected links? It might keep us busy enough to lay off the "call nurse" button for a while.

Girl Scouts go digital: Computer cookies get a whole new meaning

One of the great ironies of my life is that I got fat eating Thin Mints. I cannot resist them. I've been known to drive all over Cobb County, GA in March searching for uniformed Girl Scouts standing behind folding card tables hawking the most wicked of all treats.

But that is so last year. Now the Girl Scouts have gone digital. That's right - they're promoting their annual fundraising cookies in all the places we visit every day: YouTube, Grouper, Friendster, MySpace and more. No more driving around looking for cookies. Look for them in blogs (like this one!) and heaven only knows where else. There will be no escaping the Girl Scouts now. If you have a zip code, they can tell you the closest place to buy their cookies.

Well, let me say, "Thanks a lot, girls." I have always justified buying cookies my hips didn't need because I have a hard and fast policy to always purchase anything a child is selling for a good cause. When I started at Edelman, I even considered it an employee benefit that I could order cookies right here at the office, thanks to one little Allie Tucker, a beautiful child with the darkest, brownest, most soulful eyes I've ever seen. Although she's a talented little sales leader, the truth is all she has to do is look at me and I'll hand over a blank check.

She reminded me this year that I could order several boxes of cookies and freeze the ones I don't eat right away. I'm not sure what planet Allie is from, but in my world there's no such thing as leftover Girl Scout cookies.... or extra boxes. I ordered more than usual this year so I could participate in an Edelman plan to send some to the troops in Iraq. In case I lose that altruistic feeling when those beautiful Thin Mints, Samoas and TagAlongs arrive, I've bookmarked my favorite places where I can send others a link where they can begin their own lifelong habit that's as powerful as any drug being peddled on the street. Somehow, it feels almost dirty, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

The Girl Scouts are celebrating their 90th year of sales in 2007. More than just a fundraiser, this annual rite aims to teach girls the ins and outs of being an entrepreneur. I can't think of a better lesson they could learn than the importance of how to remain relevant in changing times. 

I congratulate them - and their partner, Ripple Effects, for this brilliant strategy. With the money I'll save in gas, I can buy more boxes of Thin Mints!

Super Bowl commericals reflect mood of the country

It's the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl as I'm writing this and I feel like I've seen enough commercials to detect a distinct pattern. It's not pretty. Seems to me the commercials have been more violent than in the past, including the cartoonish ones. What's up with that? I can only assume those producing the commercials decided to take their frustrations about the war out in supposedly more subtle ways.

Two guys who apparently love Snickers bars ripped off their chest hair. In a FedEx commercial, a poor fellow was creamed by a meteor. Bud Light showed a hitchhiker toting an ax and looking like a mass murderer, which, frankly, wasn't as scary as ETrade's depiction of a bank where the employees rip off customers and make them feel like they're in the middle of a violent bank robbery. At first I thought I was watching CSI.

I confess it struck me as a tad funny that Prudential's commercial "Like a rock" theme made me think for a nanosecond they said "Iraq."

I wasn't sure what to expect when I heard that Coca-Cola would make a comeback this year at the Super Bowl after an absence of several years, but I was delighted and pleased to see they went for the tender, sweet touch, harkening back to the days when they did the famous "Hilltop" commercial in which they offered to teach the world to sing.

Over all, I can't say I've been terribly impressed with the commercials this year. (The half-time show, however, was one of the best yet, IMHO).

Of course, not every company can afford the $2.6 million it takes to advertise for 30 seconds at the Super Bowl, which is why we have seen such a rise in companies turning to YouTube to grab viewers. A quick check of "2007 Super Bowl Commercials" on the YouTube search engine brought up several and the viewership on some is already pretty high. On the downside, a lot of the comments about the commercials are pretty snarky. At least during the big game, you only see/hear what others in your living room have to say.

This Super Bowl has been unusual in many ways, from the history-making first play (92 yard return for a touchdown) to consumer-generated commercials, to instant postings of commercials on YouTube.

There are now 6 minutes left in the game and it appears the Colts will win (YAY!). But the real winner, in my view, are the companies that got to try something new this year, whether or not it appeals to me personally. I'm eager to see how this shift from high-dollar, over-produced commercials to something more relevant to today's multitasking viewers turns out. What do you think?